Humanity as a whole is moving towards a new kind of consciousness where the end result is going to be total integration of unconscious realm into a conscious one. So, what was once hidden, and therefore “nonexistent”, now becomes visible and acceptable. Even the therapy systems are changing and widening their scope, with many new elements now being included into so called “psycho-spiritual territory”. Some of those elements involve aspects of family dynamics that were in the dark for too long period of time, and one of the most significant of those aspects is death and its effects on the living family members. If we consider the fact that physical death is not the end of life itself, then the beings that were a little while ago proclaimed dead, meaning gone, are now seen as still having their presence, together with their role in the family. Therefore, they need to be treated as such. In therapy, but also in “everyday life”, we have to look at dead family members as not less present and influential than the living ones. They need to be consciously accepted, recognized, respected and included in our lives. Not in a morbid way, being obsessed with them, but in a natural way – anytime we think of them we need to treat them as conscious entities who still have their role, giving us full support and doing their best to help us reach our goals and achieve maximum happiness and fulfilment. If we do not have good relations with dead family members, then we need to work on making them harmonious, using the same methodology as the one we apply when sorting out our relationships with the living ones.

This process can be done in individual therapy, but also learned how to do on my Transformation of Karimc Patterns courses. Every karmic problem, although usually inherited from the past lives, expresses itself through family relationships. So, in order to correct it we must first deal with the most impending aspect of it – the current relationship. It doesn’t matter if our parents or grandparents are physically dead – we can still have issues with them that have to be resolved. Those issues will not somehow disappear with their death - on the contrary, sometimes we feel even more pressure from unresolved problems after somebody dies then before. Therefore, dying does not end suffering – neither for the dead nor for the living. And, we can go one step further here. If there is no death, then another question automatically arises - when does a life start? Well, it seems that as life never ends, it also never begins – the Soul is immortal. But there is a moment when Soul becomes connected to a specific physical body, and modern psychology discovers that this connection definitively begins with the moment of conception. If we accept that idea, then every conceived child becomes, and stays, a family member - even the aborted ones. So, what happens after the child is aborted? Well, this is a “sensitive subject”, as Doctor Evil (from the Austin Powers movies) would say, so it requires special attention.

In contemporary world abortion is still often used as means for family planning. According to unofficial data, around 150,000 abortions are made throughout the world every day. Regardless of the belief that abortion is a sin or, on the other hand, a completely harmless act, new teachings consider it being an act which leaves certain consequences. We all know that there is no 100% reliable contraception means, so the possibilities to stay pregnant are considerably high. If parents decide to commit an abortion, first thing they need to know is that they are stopping the life of a living being. Secondly, this act will affect not only the physical body of the mother, but also the psyche and energy bodies of both parents. And finally, an abortion will also affect every other family member, even if they have no knowledge of it, even if the whole thing was denied by the parents. This fact has brought about a revolution in therapeutic systems – now we do know that these consequences exist, but we also have an efficient system to resolve most of them. Contemporary therapists have developed a natural system for efficient solving of abortion consequences, but on the condition that parents take on responsibilities for the process. People who had gone through such a process have made significant personal changes and became able to go on with their lives.

So, the purpose of this article is not to discuss whether abortion is morally or religiously justified, nor shall I analyse if such an act is socially acceptable. Personally, I do not support any of the official attitudes - I do not think abortion is a harmless act, but I do not treat it as a sin either. I would just like to make others aware of its possible consequences, as they are seen through the eyes of modern psycho-spiritual science, especially of the Soulwork system and my own discoveries. The traces of this knowledge can be found in different parts of the world, but it originally comes from the islands of Hawaii. Local folk healers, known as “Kahunas”, have been using it in their therapeutic practice, probably for more than a thousand years. They believe that disrupted relations become the core of majority of human problems - those of a psychological nature, as well as the physical ones. Their famous claim says that “our bodies reflect our relationships”. That’s why Hawaiian shamans put major accent on creating balanced relationships – first of all the family relations and then the others. When it comes to abortion, according to Kahunas, its consequences can vary from almost none to such that can seriously damage our physical and mental health.

In Hawaiian healing practices family is being understood as a system, acting upon certain rules. Not respecting those rules usually results in disruption of family happiness and personal realisation of its members. These rules are the natural ones, but almost completely neglected in western world. For example, one rule says that everyone has a specific role and position inside the family. Soulwork system, but also the system of German psychiatrist Bert Hellinger, brings the spatial dimension thereto, so every family member occupies a certain position in space. There are natural, optimal positions for each member and there are the distorted ones. If one family member occupies someone else’s position, then the roles could be substituted (father standing in a position of a partner, for example). This causes numerous problems that could have been avoided only if we were aware of such a distortion and have done interventions to correct it. The healthy positions are fixed, precisely determined, and we have to do all the necessary work to bring family members into exactly those positions. This work includes many different methods and techniques, but the common denominator of all of them is the establishment of unconditional love between family members.

The next rule says that there are no secrets within the family. Although some family members sometimes try to hide or cover up their actions, a family secrecy can become the source of heavy problems, not only for those people, but for other members as well. Secrecy actually cannot stay hidden – the so called “skeleton in the closet” keeps on burdening family members on a subconscious level, until it is finally revealed and sorted out. The reason why a secret cannot really go unnoticed lies in the fact that family is a system and every member is connected to others. These connections are sometimes seen as energetic cords that tie up all family members. Those cords could be of certain quality – they usually differ in texture, colour or the direction of energy flow, and we can generally divide them into healthy or unhealthy ones. So, when connected in this way, every person inside family easily feels other’s inner states – emotions, thoughts, joys or problems. We are usually not aware of what exactly other person’s problem is and what caused it, but we at least feel that something isn’t right. Sometimes we confuse those states with ours, thinking it is us who are causing them and blaming ourselves for irrational fears, anger or sadness. But, in this context we are only the means of expression of someone else’s states, not their originator. So, if somebody tries to suppress a certain emotion, it will inevitably find its way through some other person inside family. Younger, more fragile family members usually become a kind of valve for other’s suppressed states and if those states are charged with negative thoughts and emotions, then those youngsters definitely have a problem. And, paradoxically, the problem is originally not even theirs – they are just expressing what other member(s) suppress. So, as the rule says – there cannot be any secrets, just masks.

The third rule, the one I have already mentioned and that is closely related to our topic, says that nobody dies. Members that have died continue to keep their presence and position in the family matrix, and this must be respected. Since every child becomes a family member at the moment of conception, this rule applies to the aborted children as well. Never mind that these beings exist only in spiritual, psychological or energy level. They still exist as family members and need to be accepted as such. If not, then this kind of denial becomes exactly the main catch when discussing the “abortion consequences”. The abortion itself, although being potentially risky and dangerous act, is not the only problem here. The rest of the problem pertains to our emotional reactions to such an act. For example, if a woman commits an abortion and keeps it hidden from other family members, feeling guilty or shameful, then this kind of denial becomes almost as significant problem as the act of abortion itself. Other family members are deprived of their role towards the aborted child, brother or sister. Both the aborted child and other family members have a strong need for each other, but this need cannot be expressed directly here because of the denial. And, the emotions of shame and guilt that mother is trying to suppress are inevitably going to be felt by other people in the family – some of them could even have a hard time expressing them, without even knowing why they feel those emotions and where they came from. 

So, if an unborn child was not accepted and appreciated by its family, such a situation could become a big issue. It can be kept silent verbally, but it will definitely be felt. Even academic psychology claims that mostly 10% of the total communication between humans belongs to its verbal part and the rest is the so called “non-verbal” communication. So, the other family members, especially younger or more sensitive ones, somehow feel the presence of an aborted child, although unaware of what they are feeling exactly. They sometimes feel sad, melancholic, have “imaginary friends”, fantasize a lot and spend more time in “other worlds” than in this one. Sometimes they have psychic powers which they cannot control, or become obsessed with death. I think a lot of specific modern lifestyles express this kind of situation, some of them depicted in movies or certain subcultures. Director Tim Burton did a lot of films on that subject, probably without even noticing it - the Beetlejuice being the most significant one. Also, the so called “Gothic outfit” (dressed in black, hair sprayed and fingernails polished in black, looking almost like a vampire or the “living dead”) usually expresses this kind of obsession. Other forms include hard drugs addictions, extreme spirituality (membership in cults), promiscuous lifestyle or any kind of suicidal behaviour. All of those deviations could be based on the so called “dead person identification”, which is the most complicated consequence of abortions.

The common denominator of all after-abortion-effects is incapability of living a happy and fulfilled life, at least in one of its aspects. If an abortion was followed by the strong sense of guilt, then (on more or less subtle level) happiness means nothing to such a person. The same goes with being successful in some specific aspect of life. If a person is very persistent, he or she can succeed, but this will be a hard process, usually accompanied with a high level of stress and various crises. Such person usually reports having a kind of “dark stain” inside her or a “black cloud” following her wherever she goes. Sometimes this black spot stands exactly in front of her, but she is not aware that it represents her aborted brother, sister, son or a daughter. Often she subconsciously identifies herself with that unborn soul, losing her own identity and serving as a means of expression for somebody else who is not even alive physically. This identification can sometimes manifest as emotional hyper-sensitivity, as some kind of inner tension, a “frog in the throat”, strain in the chest or a constant pressure in solar plexus. Such a person usually believes that it is normal to feel discomfort most of the time, and therefore tries to find relief in drinking alcohol, using drugs or pills, or attempts to find alleviation in serial changing of sex partners. Sometimes these people involve themselves in spiritual activities which have the purpose to overcome or “destroy Ego”. So, when manifested in an extreme way, this problem makes people unable to achieve deep personal fulfilment, happiness or self-realisation in relationships with others or in any kind of creative activities. Happiness and success doesn’t make sense to them. They only want to get rid off constant inner discomfort and are therefore mostly attracted to instant pleasures and having a “good time”, instead of developing long-lasting relationships and working on realisation of true happiness.

When it comes to partners and their partnership - once they have committed an abortion, their relationship will never be the same. Unless they take care of its consequences, the partnership usually breaks apart within 6 months or partners cannot keep the same level of intimacy and closeness ever again. A soul of an aborted baby usually stands between partners, trying to be recognized, accepted and given the adequate position in space. But if partners deny the child’s existence, they will only be aware that something is going wrong with their relationship, not accepting the true cause. They will usually project on each other or blame outer influences for the negative climate that has suddenly been created around them. In this way, it is the consequences of abortion that become the source of their lack of intimacy, communication or understanding. So, what partners should do in this case (among other things) is to make contact with the soul of unborn baby, go through a process of guilt resolution, exchange blessings with their child and place it in an adequate position in space. Neglecting the existence of an unborn child usually ends up in having huge problems in creating harmonious partnership, not only with a current partner, but also with any future one.

DEAD PERSON IDENTIFICATION

One of the common consequences of abortions is the so called “dead person identification”, in this case with the aborted child. Beside this one, according to my new model (developed from the Soulwork model), there are four more basic identifications - a victim ID, hero ID, martyr ID and a child ID. Identifications enable identified person to stay connected and therefore accepted by the family members. At the same time, identified person cannot act from herself - from her Soul (Atman, True being, transpersonal centre), because she has disconnected herself from an important aspect of her true self. So, identifications are the consequences of identity loss, of giving up of our essential personal features, making us a tool for expression of other person’s inner conditions, habits and viewpoints. Although identifications definitely are undesirable models, according to Soulwork creator Martyn Carruthers they still represent a “healthy reaction to unhealthy life circumstances”. With accepting other people’s models of belief and behaviour, an identified person stays in touch with her close ones. And, since the subtle psycho-energetic connections with family members is one of the basic human needs, being automatic and subconscious, this need tries to be satisfied this way or another. If it is not possible to fulfil this need unconditionally, we shall do it conditionally, accepting whatever is necessary just to stay connected with loved ones.

Identifications usually happen while we are small children, before age seven. During that time we see our parents almost as Gods, and we try to keep that perception alive at all costs. Since Gods cannot be wrong, if our parents behave childishly or impose conditions to their love, we accept their models and dissociate aspects of our Self that could endanger those models and make parents reject us. There are many written and unwritten rules inside every family and if those rules restrict some natural aspects of our true Selves, than we shall gladly freeze those aspects or send them on a long vacation. In that way, we loose contact with important inner resources presented as aspects of our Soul and later on forget that those aspects ever existed. We then think that it is absolutely “normal” not to know who we are, what we want in life or that it is completely natural to feel sad, angry or afraid most of the time. We imitate, or better - absorb, our parent’s models so thoroughly that we are even not aware of this. We would sometimes proudly defend our “independence” or “uniqueness”, not seeing what is in front of our eyes, that we are the spitting image of our parent’s behavioural patterns. 

Unfortunately, the existence of identifications is a hardly known fact. As a result, we underestimate the value and influence of relationships and develop certain cynicism in order to suppress or distort our original need to be connected and loved by the close ones. This kind of denial is usually the result of many traumatic experiences gained through unbalanced relations. No one can hurt us as much as the person we are closely connected with. And these wounds can make us start avoiding any other relationship, or developing the so called “defence mechanisms”. But relationships cannot be avoided. Of, course, bad relationships cause great pain and suffering, but harmonious ones can represent an irreplaceable source of personal happiness. Since we cannot avoid being connected, we have no other choice but to work on the quality of our relationships. Paradoxically, being connected frees, and violent breaking of the connection bonds. This can be seen through many examples. It is interesting how persons who have had bad relations with their parents are severely hit by their death. Working with drug addicts, I have learned that they believe that an addict whose parents die will join them within a year – either on purpose (committing suicide) or accidentally (due to accidental overdoses or an illness). Never mind bad relations between them. One could say that this happens because drug addicts are not capable of taking care of themselves, but that is not the only reason for their death – they die so soon because of a huge emotional identification with their (now dead) parent(s). Not even heroin can fulfil that need.

The source of dead person identification can be the early death of one of the family members. It often happens if child has lost one or both parents, a brother or a sister or any other member that has died too early – in an accident or of some terminal illness. Sometimes this identification comes as a result of a death which is not honoured by other family members – suicide, for example. In countries dominated by Christian religion, suicide is treated as dishonourable death, and family members could have elided the existence of such person to the next generation, or may have held back the real truth about that person’s death. Then the suicide person is denied their place in the family, so some other member could unconsciously take their place and express their emotions. This usually results in identification, where identified person – in order to stay connected – looses a part of his or hers own identity and expresses the identity of the dead person she is identified with.

So, let’s see how this identification looks like if it is the outcome of an abortion. If abortion remains hidden from the rest of the family, one of the sensitive family members may take on the identity of aborted baby. If there are living children in that family, then they are the ones who usually identify with the soul of an unborn baby and burden themselves with emotions that do not necessarily belong to them. Those children can be sad most of the time; they even feels that it is natural to be sad every now and then, without any specific reason. But it is only natural to be sad if missing something or someone, and in this case an identified person has no idea why she is sad. We already know the first rule of family constellations which says that nobody dies. Our need to stay connected to family members does not disappear just because they are physically dead. For example, a child needs a father even if the father dies. Never mind that the physical dimension of their relationship has disappeared – there are still its psychological and spiritual components. Such relationship sometimes affects living family members even stronger than it has before father’s death. Situation is the same with an aborted child, brother or sister. They are still parts of the family and they have to be appreciated and accepted as brother, sister, child or grandchild. All family members subconsciously and automatically tend to keep connections with each other. If this cannot be achieved consciously, because they do not know about their aborted member, it can be realised through a subconscious identification.

This, of course, leaves many consequences. Living a life in psycho-energetic symbiosis with a dead person is definitely unhealthy process, where an identified person shows several typical reactions and characteristics. These can vary from slight disturbances to the serious psychosis. The most often characteristics of dead person identification are:

● feeling sad, melancholic and easily bursting into tears;

● living a completely abstract or too much spiritually oriented life;

● acting childishly, especially concerning one’s emotions;

● being hyper-sensitive to outer impacts;

● being afraid of any kind of changes;

● refusing to participate in an every-day-life, finding excuses such as fear, cynicism,  sarcasm, aggression, sorrow or guilt;

● being unable to stand sentimental music, movies or literature; or being overly sentimental;

● being irritated by little children or pets, or too attached to pets;

● being inclined to extreme sports - those people like to “provoke their destiny“;

● getting physically hurt pretty often (in car accidents, sports injuries);

● deep inside this person is indifferent towards life and death; she lacks the natural fear of death;

● possessing occult powers which they cannot control;

● having problems concerning pregnancy; a person cannot get pregnant;

● having unreasonable fears for their child during the pregnancy;

● showing tendency towards promiscuity;

● being attracted to drugs, with special tendency to hard drugs (at least 90% of hard drugs addicts are dead person identified);

● having preference towards black colour, black clothes, hair black;

● creating specific behavioural patterns, especially this one: „Betrayer – Abandoned person – Comforter“;

● identified person often uses expressions like „I am dying to...“, or „We have demolished ourselves at the party“…, or ”You are killing me…”;

● showing fascination with graveyards, battlefields, ex concentration camps;

● having interest in morbid stories, horror movies and occult or astral worlds;

● in more or less subtle way, this person is preoccupied by death; sometimes openly suicidal.

 
RESOLUTION OF ABORTION CONSEQUENCES

The good news is that every type of identification can be resolved by taking on full responsibility for the process and its consequences. Transformation of dead person identification usually starts by simply revealing the truth. Telling the truth itself gives us certain relief. We must tell our children and the rest of our family how many of potential brothers or sisters, children or grandchildren they have lost. Children grown up in families with abortion or miscarriages never become completely successful and happy people. Too often they end up as drug addicts or promiscuous individuals, as hyper-sensitive dreamers or even members of some cult. These people hardly reach their goals, have bad love experiences and become losers without motivation to live their life. So, “the truth shall set us free”, and once we have revealed the truth, we may continue with balancing our relationships with aborted children, brothers or sisters and other family members. This usually requires professional assistance, but any attempt to solve these kinds of problems is still better than none. So, this is what can be done.

Aborted child has to be accepted and appreciated, and it must be placed on its natural position inside the family. After that, sharing of sanctified blessings may follow. Every child comes into the family carrying special grace and blessing for entire family, but also the particular gifts for each member. Aborted child is not a demon chasing and accusing other family members for what they have done. Its only wish is to be accepted as a part of the family and to communicate with it, expressing its love and blessings. Once all these processes have been settled and the soul of aborted child has taken its position, it very often assumes the additional role of a family guide, tutorial or protector. Existing free of material limitation, with perspective much wider than ours, this soul becomes a truthful blessing for the whole family, guiding them towards love and self-realisation. At the end it is good to create a plan or program of positive activities which shall be performed in honour to the aborted child, brother or sister. This can be any constructive activity like teaching about the abortion outcomes, giving money to charity or any other spiritual or creative doing. In time, this activity can grow into a source of deep fulfilment. In this way, the active, unchangeable karma resulting from the abortion can be balanced properly.

And finally, the proper handling of abortion consequences may turn into an extraordinarily strong spiritual experience for the person who is working on its resolution. A former problem now turns into deep blessing and one of the most significant spiritual lessons ever learned in one’s whole life. So, now that we know how to deal with them, it is a matter of personal choice, not “destiny”, whether we are going to resolve the consequences of abortions or let them continue blocking our happiness. The process usually does not take more then a couple of hours work, but is mostly done in one session. Most people cannot imagine in their wildest dreams that some of their huge problems could be dissolved in such a short period of time, and so they continue to suffer. But with new times and new knowledge, even hard core suffering has alternative – we choose to continue or end it for good. And since the methodology exists, intelligent people use it.